hastrustissues: (profile.)
Wichita ([personal profile] hastrustissues) wrote2011-10-25 12:58 pm
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They burn the stuffed animals - and it probably says something about Wichita that she's equal parts relieved and disturbed by the event, but she decides to attend, to make sure she watches as each carnival prize, all in varying stages of destruction, burn away as the bonfire rages on, button eyes and plastic melting and stuffing turning black under the flame before it too turns into ash. It's only a slightly comforting sight, and it's still serving to remind her that crazy shit like this happens all the time, without warning. Zell had mentioned the zombies arriving before, but somehow he'd been all too casual in his delivery, or at least more carefree about it than she thinks it deserves. How many people are ready for something like this if it happens again? she'd asked Columbus, wondering if any of the people she starts to care about will ever truly be prepared: Olive, Santana, Eduardo, Mark. They're all people she's starting to become closer to, and she blames herself for it, for letting each of them in long enough to start to care in the first place, because if something happens - God, this isn't how she's supposed to survive here. She isn't supposed to have to care about anyone else, to have to worry.

She makes sure to leave a note for Columbus this time (ever since the night she'd gone out for a run, she realized he'd almost started to think she had disappeared completely), but she only specifies as much as simply going for a walk, not really stopping to predict where she'll wind up. It ends up being the pier, on the western side of the island, the long one that stretches out over the water, and she walks to the very end, until she can sit down with her legs dangling over the side. She jams her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket, finds a joint in one, and lights up, giving herself ample time to inhale deeply, and keeps inhaling until the tension in her shoulders starts to ease.

The sound of footsteps behind her doesn't have her whirling around like she would be under normal, non-high circumstances, but she's still got the small pistol tucked into her waistband, if it turns out she needs to use it. She doesn't move to speak when the sound of footsteps stop and she senses someone standing over her, instead leaning back to brace her weight on one hand as the other lifts the joint to her lips.
zuckered: (rule)

[personal profile] zuckered 2011-10-27 06:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I've been taking more walks lately. Sometimes people ask me how it is that I manage to get around the campus as quickly as I do. I'm even able to outrun the Winklevii, with enough obstacles around and if I really put my mind to avoiding conflict. I don't really know the answer. I'm not a regular jogger, and I fell off the boat with fencing after college, but all the same, I'm still in better shape than most programmers I know— and believe me, that's not a small feat anymore, not with recent health studies continually pounding on the fact that the lot of us need to get out more and in the sun. There are always a few health nuts in each coding group.

Regardless, it's easy to pick up walking again. Sometimes breaking into a run, jogging. I think I do it because when I run, the only thing I need to think about is where that next step is going to be placed. And lately, getting that clear mind is just about as rare as anything.

I stop when I see Wichita, though. As far as distractions go, she's not a bad one to have.



The smell of pot is familiar to Mark as he steps a bit closer, quickly tucking his hands into his pockets. For once, the hoodie has been abandoned, a mere GAP T-shirt in its place. Flip-flops have been exchanged for sneakers. Back home, it'd be rare for Mark to set out with the intention of walking about and altering his outfit for that sole purpose; here, it's been happening with greater and greater frequency, a restlessness that doesn't settle well on his skin, that leaves his chest feeling taut most days. Strangely, the smoke from the joint just reminds him of campus, of school. He was never really much of a smoker, didn't see the appeal, especially after trying a joint or two himself— whatever minute amount of relaxation he's able to manage doesn't last long. But it doesn't stop him from stepping closer, glancing at Wichita with a concerned eye.

She doesn't look like the type to need a hit.

"You okay?" he asks first, and maybe it's presumptuous of him, but if there's anyone who might forgive him for that on the island, Mark's almost sure that she's one of them.
zuckered: (contemplate)

[personal profile] zuckered 2011-10-31 05:34 pm (UTC)(link)
There's more going on here than what meets the eye— and even then, what meets the eye certainly hits Mark somewhere in the chest, tight and constricting— and he finds himself following her gesture until he's able to sit directly beside Wichita, gaze sweeping over her again, as though combing carefully enough might expose something he's missed. At a distance, he realizes that he's never been the best person for offering support. Never been the best type of friend to much of anyone, and only by the good graces of fate has he found people over the years who've been as loyal as his are. It's a fact often forgotten in the moment, when he takes people for granted, when he assumes they'll stay, even through his tirades and flights of fancy— but here, with the world calm around them and the oceans smooth ahead, he sees it in greater relief.

Decides to stay, see if he can't set things right, even if it only ends up being for a day.

"Sure," he replies belatedly, as though he hasn't already sat himself down, and glances at her from the side. "You don't look like hell, just to make that clear. But you look like you're going through it. No offense."

The statement, given as starkly as he has just now, receives a sweep of a tongue over his lips before he looks away again, and out over the water. "Something going on?"
zuckered: (solo)

[personal profile] zuckered 2011-11-08 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
I find myself staring at her. You know, I don't want to place too much weight into it, I don't want to make you think like she's this person who I can't keep my gaze away from or something like that. Yeah, sure, she's got a pretty face— but she's also got the face of Wardo's girlfriend, so I can tell you exactly how much that matters. Which is, preferably, not at all.

Realistically, it's probably something that would normally send me turning in the other direction. But she keeps me around in spite of it. Because of who she is.

And when she tells me that I don't waste any time, like she's expecting it, I feel myself smile for a second. I guess this is what they mean when they say it's like someone knows you.


"Didn't think wasting time would do either of us any good," Mark replies with a raise of a shoulder, a casual movement, quick to the eyes. His eyes linger on the blunt, the smoke that the breeze carries away, like it was never meant to be hers at all, and his attention barely pulls away in time to catch her words.

"You're thinking about more than that," he accuses, even though the tone is light. "I mean, I hope you are, anyway. I get that Chucky isn't something any of us want to have become reality, but I also took you for some pretty stern stuff."
zuckered: (rule)

[personal profile] zuckered 2011-11-10 04:59 pm (UTC)(link)
They aren't precisely the same situations, the ones that Wichita and Mark are facing right now. Not precisely. But that doesn't stop Mark from letting his gaze linger, on the fact that she's out here not thanks to the nerves, not thanks to the frustration of how limited this island is, but instead in want of a person. Breaking eye contact, he thinks of his own family, the family that he manages to be far closer to than most people would expect. With a small breath, carefully masked, he tilts his head and continues to watch her, again. There's very little that's in his power on the island; returning home isn't one of them, nor getting other people there. Even trying to predict departure dates leaves him with ranges so varied than he can't even manage to get an estimate accurate to a month, let alone a day.

But he can, at least, listen. Reason. Things that don't require far too much sentiment, as it were.

"I don't know if it's good to pin all of your hopes on... a single person," Mark admits, his gaze wandering from side to side. "I mean, tempting. Definitely tempting. But I mean, even you can see how futile it is. Most of us aren't made to live so close to people without liking someone along the way, I guess."

He pauses, then adds, more quietly. "But I'm sorry. I bet you miss her."
zuckered: (contemplate)

[personal profile] zuckered 2011-11-14 09:11 am (UTC)(link)
I can't say that my situation falls exactly in line with her own. I mean, I think I understand what she's saying. I think I get it. I'm fortunate enough to have the unconditional love of about half a dozen people, and probably uncompromising love from dozens more now that I am who I am, so it's never really been about me and one other person. Still, I think I get it. How it's easier to hang yourself on the welfare of those closest to you. The more people you let in, the more of a burden it becomes. You're not used to it, caring. You're not sure what to do when caring isn't enough.

I don't know if it's the stuffed animals that made her think of this, but maybe I get it. Kinda.

Maybe that justifies the impulse I have to reply.



"Because things were so dangerous. Because another person in the group meant another few seconds that you couldn't focus on everyone else, and in that kind of situation, I guess that ends up being make or break," Mark muses, a somber tone to his voice, and the slight edge of disbelief that comes every single time Mark tries to remember the desolation that Wichita came from. The type of city that he can't even see in the dustiest corners of his mind, reserved for wild stories and adventures written on the leaves of a book. "Even when it isn't really do or die, though, I get it. Caring for people is. Tiring. But then again, you seem pretty made for it."

Pausing, he adds, "Or maybe I'm biased. Three sisters."
zuckered: (quip)

[personal profile] zuckered 2011-11-17 06:49 am (UTC)(link)
"Didn't say you were used to it. Said you were made for it," Mark reminds her quickly, arching his brow, half-tempted to reach out and bump a fist against her shoulder, only the movement seems like it'd be trying too hard. (Maybe he is trying too hard, he someitmes thinks to himself, with a girl who isn't his to flirt with, a girl who isn't at all attainable in the long run. She's got a boyfriend who knows her well, and even if they broke up, seems like it'd just be asking for trouble if anything happened. He attempts to remind himself that.)

(Really attempts.)

"But yeah, three sisters. So, you know. Getting lost in my own world, namely that of the laptop, probably wasn't that much of a stretch. Better than trying to follow their reasoning as they obsessed about their Barbie dolls and the like. Though, they're cool. Divergent interests aside, I get along pretty well with all of them."
zuckered: (rule)

[personal profile] zuckered 2011-11-22 10:15 am (UTC)(link)
He watches her for every minute detail, the way she doesn't flinch from the heat of the joint, the way that the ash crumbles between her fingers, the color of it streaked across her skin. It's not always one's facial expression that shows their emotions, after all. It comes in the way that they walk, in the way they carry their weight, and for all that Wichita's able to smile at him now, try to shrug everything else like it's nothing at all, it continues to strike him as an act. Question is whether or not he wants to pry under it. There's a part of him that wants to try, his mother's voice sounding from some indistinct point, nosing into his affairs, forcing him to hammer them out with as much diligence as a masseuse kneading into the knots of his shoulders. He always felt better for that, the subtle mental beating and deconstruction.

But not everyone is him, and so he takes a few seconds' pause before turning to her with a soft grin. "I don't get easily zuckered into things," he remarks with a quirk of his brow, before the smile passes some. "But honestly, Wichita, I don't think you have to feel guilty. And I know that it's going to feel hard. You're making an adjustment, and a couple of joints won't fix that for long. If you want to talk through it, I can throw rationale at you until your head spins. Or you can promise that you'll try to trust me when I say that you're doing fine. Better than you think."
zuckered: (widen)

[personal profile] zuckered 2011-11-24 08:31 pm (UTC)(link)
He's not sure what to say at first. He catches the name, so quiet that he wonders if it's his own imagination running on overdrive, but the look on her face is what tells him otherwise, tells him that what hangs between the two of them now isn't silence. It's a secret, one held close to her chest, that now suddenly breaks away and makes itself known to him. And he's overwhelmed in the wake of it, feeling his breath grow strangely shallow. His hand moves, shifts just a touch where it rests on his knee, and although he doesn't know to acknowledge it as such, there's a pull on Mark's end that tells him that he should embrace her. Now. That he should mold himself into normalcy, not leave quiet hanging in the air.

But he can't, because that's not him. Instead, he just surveys her, presses his lips tightly together, and resolves to keep this secret for her, too.

"Krista," he nods. "It's a pretty name. Suits you."
zuckered: (smile)

[personal profile] zuckered 2011-11-27 06:16 am (UTC)(link)
"Never did understand why they say that redheads can't wear pink," Mark admits, cocking his head to the side, as though trying to picture her in any shade of pink, laced or frilled to the nines. It's not half as hard as he expects it to be, which draws his lips into an amused grin. The easiest part of the whole picture to see in his mind is the unamused expression of her face, somewhere between a scowl and a tiredly tolerant glare. "If we're talking about distance on the spectrum of the rainbow, it's not like red and pink differ any more than blue and aqua, lime and yellow. But I guess that's why Wardo made a crack about me once, about how I was kind of the last person to speak on fashion."

His voice falls quiet for half a second, but he presses on, because if there's anything that he'd hate more than being at odds with Eduardo, it's being at odds and having the world know.

It's just none of their business.

"Anyway, don't you take ballet? Isn't that a part of the prerequisite? Learn ballet, tolerate the starched frilly tutu."
zuckered: (joke)

[personal profile] zuckered 2011-11-29 09:12 am (UTC)(link)
"If I wasn't thinking about it before, you've sealed the envelope," Mark informs Wichita with a quick shake of his head, a laugh just waiting on his lips, even as it gets lost in all of the frenetic movement. It comes undone at last, when her elbow bumps against his, a chuckle that falls under his breath as he arches a brow in her direction. "And now you've done it. Jostled me just enough that my imagination's gone on hyperdrive. Never thought I'd be able to picture so much pink and frills and taffeta in one go."

He leans back, one more attempt at trying to see her cope with pink— he can see magenta, actually, but probably nothing powder pink— before he remarks, "Besides, black leotard and eighties leg warmers is jazz, isn't it? I was always under the impression that's why the two types of dances were formed. Some people got tired of the pointe, the pink, and the tutus."
zuckered: (smile)

[personal profile] zuckered 2011-12-04 08:59 am (UTC)(link)
"You have to realize that about eighty percent of the dance that I've been exposed to over the years is through Dance Dance Revolution. Or, well, that recent stint here with the internet also exposed me to Microsoft's Kinect, which seems pretty cool and has a better dance game, but they're still all games. So." Mark shrugs helplessly, a small smile on his lips as he tries to run through each one of the dances proposed by Wichita, finding that he doesn't have a mental image for each. "Interpretive dance makes even less sense to me. The point's to tell a story, but I don't really see how any other dance doesn't do the exact same. As far as I know, all ballets come with their own story."

He shrugs.

"It's just not a very intuitive naming system. Modern won't be modern in a few decades. Tap makes the most sense, but can't you also tap dance to jazz music?" He breaks into a brief laugh, amazed at the current topic of conversation— it's not one he might've had the patience for with anyone else.
zuckered: (quip)

[personal profile] zuckered 2011-12-08 09:54 am (UTC)(link)
He's been called a nerd countless times in the past, even learned to accept it for the compliment that it holds, for the pride that he's allowed to have even in things like this, which so often come at the cost of being social. Of learning the norms. Of adhering to them. Even though his brand of nerd doesn't hold a regular schedule and instead spends all their time browsing the internet and inevitably improving upon their WPM, the way that Wichita jibes doesn't make it seem like a bad thing, nor does it threaten the way his chest seems to expand at the thought of all the thought and innovation between the walls in Palo Alto. Sometimes, Mark Zuckerberg likes who he is, and what he's done. It's not even necessarily a majority of the time, and especially not as of late, given all that's happened.

But he feels good today, and he knows that he can thank her for that.

"Mind totally blown," he nods in earnest. "It'll be tough to beat this particular revelation. You've outdone yourself."